WHO WAS I???
October 14, 2011
I heard the words that you said…words that played around within my head. Was I only a game to you and not any special someone? Just another thing for you that you soon would forget? Like all of the ones that were once in your head? I need just one more question answered. I need just one more thing to know… Who was I?-When I’d keep your tears from fallin Who was I?-When I’d come to ease your pain and sit by your side Who was I?-To believe that I was your best friend Was I just another memory to forget??? Before we both fell apart. I remember holding your hands close to my heart and I told you to push me away. Somehow I knew the wrong could never be right anyway from you I suddenly did hear a change in your voice with words that I fear I need just one more question answered. I need just one more thing to know… But if you ask me…What you were to me? Even if it doesnt matter now. I must say it somehow…You were mine every tear I’d catch from falling…You were mine…Always knew that in this heart you were inside…You were mine. I believe that you were my best friend. Though I know I’m just a memory. Like the end to one of your stories. But to me you were the one I love and loved until the end. You are mine I heard the words that you said…Words that played around within my head…WAS I ONLY GAME TO YOU???
LEAD ME TO YOUR HEART
May 19, 2011
Noted as someone who has a whole lot of love and care to give to friends, family and to my relevant others branded to be very nurturing and passionate. I can be very tenacious and fights for what I believe in. When I was a little girl, I would dream of a man who has all the exemplary qualities one could ever imagine. As time passes by, there was a realization that nobody in this huge universe is perfect. I believe I am molded to be imperfect because someone out there will be perfect for me.
I’ve been alone for far too long now, and am only getting older. I want someone who can treat me right as a partner and not a toy. Someone who can accept me as I am, pamper me and knows how to handle me with so much care and love.
SHROUDED…
May 13, 2011
I’m not always as confident as I seem … there are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being HELD. Always! Sometimes I don’t want to talk about what is bothering me … sometimes I just want a HUG … someone who will let me CRY. I like when people cry in front of me … express how they feel without pretensions- when people aren’t afraid to show what they’re really emotion. I don’t like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn’t do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I’m not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. I know what it’s like to see something funny and not laugh. I’ve been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been deliberately disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart… and my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does. Ever…
….Hoping~!
XEAUTIFUL MALDITAH BAND TRIP TO PUERTO GALERA
May 12, 2011 What a short vacation… enough for me to unwind. Glad we had fun and the event went off without a hitch. Looking forward seeing some more of the pictures! Jov Felias please do the tagging =D Special thanks to Madam Sazi Cosino for allowing me to know you more…you’re Point of views makes me inspired. I’ve learned so much from you. Mina Anne, Joanne Grace Almoete Estrada, Czarina Blanco and to the rest of the gang…nice bonding we had! Di ko makakalimutan ang kumain tayo ng sama sama sa sahig na nakasalampak hahahaha!Love it! I’ll treasure every moment we shared! Again guys thanks for a job well done! I’m looking forward for a more gigs to come…God bless everyone!
SUHTNASYRHC AIRERREF part2
November 10, 2010I’m a talent agent and I’m scouting for male models for a VTR. Friends of mine refer this guy to me. I asked him to go for a gocee. Since I was busy that time I told him I can’t go to check on him. I texted him the details but he said he was not familiar with the place so I guided him thru text till he reaches the venue. After that event I send him a forwarded quotation to make paCUTE on him. Then he texted me back…to make the story short thru text naging KAMI…but then I don’t feel comfortable meeting him personally. I’m afraid baka d nya ako magustuhan kasi I’m not sexy not like him na yummy talaga.
Do u believe 2 months kaming naging mag on sa text at tawag lang. Ang dami kong binigay na alibi madelayed lang ang EB naming dalawa. He was so patient naman at sobrang inlove na daw sya sa akin na kahit ano pa daw ang itsura ko di daw nya ako iiwan. With those words I feel secured…nagkasundo kami magkita somewhere…di naman ako napahiya at niyakap at hinalikan naman nya ako sa unang pagkikita namin. I was so speechless pero he see to it that i’m OK. he make me feel relaxed and confy w our 1st meeting. Naging maganda naman ang pagsasama naming bilang mag bf.
I suggest na wag nya nang itinuloy ang modeling career. Wag lang ako magselos pinagbigyan nya naman ako so, naging tambay lang sya sa kanila. kakagraduate lang nya non ng nursing at waiting sya sa board exam result.Syempre dahil tambay twing magdadate kami sagot ko lahat ng gastos…okay lang naman kasi masaya ako at kasama ko sya. Dumating yong board exam result nya at di sya nakapasa…mejo disappointed sya sa nangyari kaya sabi ko try ulit nya magexam baka next tym makapasa na sya at para ipakita sa kanya na good gf ako at todo suporta sa mga endeavors nya sa buhay binigyan ko pa sya ng pang exam nya ulit at pang gastos sa mga requirements pero di nagtagal pinatawag na din sya for training sa pagiging pulis sabay nya palang inapply yon nang magboard exam sya…nagingbusy sya sa paglalakad ng mga requirements sa pagpupulis kaya d sya nakapagfocus sa review para sa upcoming board exam nya so nang araw ng exam puyat at pagod sya. So what should I expect db? syempre d nya talaga naipasa ang exams. For me okay lang kasi may tinatahak naman syang ibang career.
Dumating ang araw na dadalhin nasila sa training camp nya which is malayo dulo na nang pampangga. I feel so sad lalo nat ng sabihin nyang 6mos. syang mawawala ang lungkot db? ganun pa man kahit gano kahigpit sa kampo nakakagawa sya ng paraan para magkaroon kami ng communication. Nasabi nya sa akin na sobrang hirap daw ng training yong food daw nila sobrang konti at walang lasa. Yong ibang nakapag baon sa camp nakakain ng maaus so nagka idea ako na padalhan sya ng mga groceries weekly kundi naman pera pinapadala ko makakain lang sya ng maaus sa kampo. Sa sobrang miss ko pa nga sa kanya d lang isang beses na dinalaw ko sya sa kampo nila ng mga dis oras na nang gabi makita ko lang sya at d biro ang pagpunta ko doon syempre dahil nga bukod sa mga groceries na dala ko may mga dala din akong pagkain like 5roasted chicken, 2 boxes of pizza, barbeque chicken galling Jollibee kaya pagdating ko doon di lang sya busog pati mga kabatchmate nya kaya para silang nagfiefesta never to mention nirerent ko pa ang van na sinasakyan ko papunta sa camp site nla kaya d biro talaga ang nagagastos ko sa kanya non…d alam sa amin ang mga pinaggagagawa ko sa bf ko. Ganun ko sya kamahal ate charo ay mali hehehe! After 6 months noong graduation nila andoon ako at present. To make the day so special nagdala din ako ng food na pagsasaluhan namin. So would you imagine kung gano kalaki ang nagagastos ko sa kanya pero balewala nga yon kasi mahal na mahal ko sya…
After graduation naging busy na sila sa kani kanilang assignment. Mejo naging madalang na text nya sa akin which is pilit ko naman iniintindi. But then Valentines comes in…nasa event ako the whole day w my band ng pauwi na ako thru txt nalaman ko na pauwi na din sya. Since ortigas naman ang tinatahak naming way na doon din naman sya nakadistino sabi ko met na lang kami bago matapos ang araw ng mga puso diba.
So aun nga nag met kami sa robinson galleria. Excited pa naman akong makita sya kasi 1 month nang huli kaming nagkasama. Pagdating ko sa lugar todo yakap pa ako to my surprise para lang ako yumakap sa poste ng meralco as in kasing lamig sya ng bakal ng poste kainis!!!…sabi ko sa kanya bakit??? D ba sya masaya na makita akoi? Sbi nya bawal daw na may kasamang babae kasi pag nakauniform. Argh!!!nahurts ang lola mo kaya I made a distance as in parang di kami magkakakilala habang naglalakad…pero deep inside masyado akong nasasaktan… kinahihiya nya ba ako??? Habang kumakain pa kami lingon sya ng lingon baka makita daw sya ng mga ka buddy nya. Haist! Nawalan ako ng mood magsalita that time napansin nya yata na disappointed ako kaya sya ang salita ng salita. As usual nag date kami sagot ko pa din at ubos na daw sweldo nya. naibigay nya na daw lahat sa nanay nya. Kabadtrip ni di man lang ako naalala pag sya ang may pera ay mali isang beses nya pala ako nilibre unang sweldo nila sa training sa jolibee at noong december kung di pa ako nagtampo di nya pa ako maaalalang bilhan ng gift Victoria’s Secret na Cologne.Yon lang as in nag 1yr kami yon lang nagastos nya sa akin. Balik tau sa kwento ng date namin after namin kumain hinatid nya na ako sa bus pauwi saamin. D ko magawang mag voice out nasasaktan ako sa pianapakita nya sa akin.
Sa bus iyak ako ng iyak. Tinext ko sya kung mahal nya pa ba ako? Sabi nya “OO pero d nya daw alam bakit nagkakaganun daw sya?” sobrang nasaktan ako nagtanong ako sa sarili ko kung may nagawa ba akong mali? Naging supportive naman ako na girlfriend at inunawa ko sya sa lahata ng bagay…ang sakit isipin na pagkatapos nya ako gamitin sa mga panagrap nya ngayon naabot nya na lahat yon balewala na ako sa kanya. dati rati lahat ng pangarap nya kasama ka ngayon basura ka na lang. bakit ganoon???…Ganun pa man ibinigay ko sa kanya ang space na gusto nya sabi ko aantayin ko pa din sya sa birthday nya pag walang isang Chrysanthus na magpapakita sa akin d na ako aasa pa na babalik sya kahit kalian.
Ang sakit dumating ang bday nya pero talagang kinalimutan nya na ako. Nang maghiwalay kami naghanap ako ng iba pero bakit ganun sya pa din ang hinahanaphanap ko sya pa din ang mahal ko??? Ano bang meron ka bakit ba ako nagkakaganito saU. kahit kailan naman di ka naging mabuting bf sa akin. Mahilig ka mangako pero ni minsan drawing ka! Masyaso kang manhid at walang paki alam sa nararamdaman ko. Kuripot! Makasarili! Wala kang alam kundi kumabig at manggamit. Pero bakit…bakit??? ikaw pa din ang hinahanap hanap ko?
I want to let you go…I want to be happy with someone else…pero bat d ko magawa??? dahil ba I have unfinished business with you?
I feel so stupid! I hate myself for loving YOU! Help me God please…
SUHTNASYRHC AIRERREF
July 22, 2010
It’s impossible to understand what’s going through your heart. You told me that you wanted me and now that I have given you my all. You’ll be leaving? You told me once that it was your first time to felt this way and you told me I was special. I believe in you…my hearts leap for joy. You should have told me that your feelings had faded. I had no idea. I continue to depend on you. Although I say I hate you now but I’m here missing you. I’m a girl; who’s wanted to be love by YOU. I’m giving you my heart but why you just rip it all away …They say that when you give a guy all he wants he quickly gets bored. And I know that’s the truth…although I told myself that I’ll never be tricked by love. I fall in love and my hearts torn again…so sad!
After what we had I gone through relationship for me to disregard the feeling I have in you but still I’M missing YOU. my birthday wish is to WIN YOU BACK…ohhh genie…please hear my plea.
A LONELY INTERNMENT…
July 14, 2010
You laughed at my weaknesses
- so I feared to show them.
You trampled on my dreams
- so I dreamed alone.
You were too busy to listen
- so I never spoke.
You handled my secrets indiscreetly
- so I ceased to share them.
You were insensitive to my needs
- so I hid them from you.
You never seemed to understand
- so I stopped trying to communicate.
You hurt me by your indifference
- so I bled inwardly.
You wouldn’t let me near you
- so I kept my distance.
You cared for my physical needs
- so my soul became impoverished.
You drove me into myself
- so now I am imprisoned.
EMOTIONAL NUMBNESS
July 11, 2010I met this guy online 3 months ago. We both in despair… At first I didn’t like him because he’s younger than my age but after chatting, I got really into him. We used to chat for hours. Then, finally we agreed to meet. Bringing back those memories I may say…Those are the happiest days of my life. After that night he becomes so special to me…at first he was too cautious to continue what we have… for a reason that he’s still in love w his ex. I gave him the space he wants, for him to realize about my being. To my surprise he called me up crying saying…he was starting to fall on me. I valued his kindness on revealing what’s inside his heart. After 2 more meetings we got into relationship. He’s being so sweet and jolly makes me fall for him deeper, no dull moment when I’m with him. We go for a date twice a week and he calls me about 3-4 times a day. We talked on the phone as if we miss each other so much. But then as the days past by I feel so paranoid and pu
zzled, thinking if he was really telling the truth. I was so numb. My insecurities got me in. I keep on asking if he really loves me. Yes, you told me you loved me…That I couldn’t believe… How I wish I could read your mind and open your heart for me to see and feel secured. I started to investigate…but then that doesn’t help. He was so disappointed knowing that I don’t have trust on him… I have so much love to give but why love hurts still? From a good beginning we end up nothing. It’s all my fault…I lost him! I MISS YOU BABY…
Its soo hurting…I’m tired of lies!!! A chill has settled on my emotions, and the more time that passes, the more the numb consumes me. I’m having a hard time letting men get close to me. The more they try to affect me, the colder I feel. When it comes to the reality of love, I go back to being numb. What should I do???
I’m still hoping that one day the right man comes my way. Someone who can awaken me from my emotional suspension…I’ll breathe again. I’ll be warm. Perhaps, love and happiness will last and I’ll never know what it is to be cold and alone again. I am just a sleeper who caught a glimpse of the waking world for a sweet, brief time. Now I sleep again, ever aware of the scream trying to break through my frozen numb.
THROW OFF
February 10, 2010I have so much love to give but why love
hurts still? I really don’t know why?
Maybe I’m just disappointed because of
the effort and care that I have invested
into the venture called “LOVE”. It
hurts because love is all about what you
feel but then people don’t know how to
reciprocate the feeling you’ve given
them. Or am I asking too much? Paranoid
I guess.
Sometimes we pray that no fault or
unintentional mistakes we make will send
the one that we love on a trip to
someone new. Love takes two. It takes
work and a love of strength to get
through the bad times to see love
through…How I wish that this person
may know how to appreciate. I might not
be the perfect one but soon you
will realize how lucky you are having
this kind of attention I’m giving YOU.
aLonelyHuntress…
Searching for a love like a hunter
To fill your heart loneliness and hunger
The arrow of love is ready to be shot
But uncertain who deserve it a lot?
Who can read our hearts but God?
To know who’s the worthy lad
For HE can feel our lonesomeness
And the need for genuine happiness
We’re the ones who makes our fate
But for acts of God, Let us simply wait
Let us lift our hearts and eyes to Him
Not hunt for someone on a whim
The divine force will guide our future
As we become spiritually mature
Waiting doesn’t have to be a boring quest
For good people deserve what is best!
FALLING IN AND OUT OF LOVE
When I say I love you I do
But this with you will not do
I need someone I can lean on
Someone I can count on too
Yes you are there sometimes
For that I am grateful to you
But I need someone there full time
And that you can not do
You told me once you loved me
That I could believe in you
I was there when you needed someone
Where were you when I needed someone, too?
The time has come for me to let go
Never to expect you to care again
People may come and people may go
But my love will never end.
A NEED TO BE NEEDED
I feel so sad…when I offered my services to someone and that someone turned me down with some snide remark about not being helpless. Or maybe he was just smug or self-sufficient as if he needed nothing from me. And I hated him. Why? I had a need to be needed but then he just ignored that need.
WHEN I FALL INLOVE
February 9, 2010When I fall in love, I want to be with him always;
In happiness,to smile with him,
and be the one to hug.
In sadness, to cry with him,
and be the one to dry his tears.
When I fall in love, I will spend my
every waking and sleeping moments with him
and catch each moment in its eternally lovely form.
When I fall in love, I will miss him
every moment I say ‘goodbye’
and my heart will yearn for
every moment I say ‘hello’.
When I fall in love, all my old hurts
and pains will seem lost and
faded away and I will be
strong and brave once again.
When I fall in love, I want you
to be happy always, ever
and feel like the happiest person
of them all . . .
Because that’s what I will feel…
when I fall in love,
WITH YOU.
LOVE ME OR HATE ME…
Love me or hate me you know who i am the girl who no one likes the girl who everyone forgets or leaves out. You know me not by name but by how i look and act. You make fun of me and say things about me but you don’t really know me so why do you say these things and make fun of people you don’t know? I know the answer to this question it is because your life is bad so you take it out on other people because your too insecure to handle your problems the right way.
Love me or hate me you know who i am. i’m the girl that will stick out in your memory as a loner, the girl that will make you realize what a jerk you are. The girl you never realized till now was hurting inside because she wanted to fit in, be liked, to be loved! You will try to make up to me for the things you did but I’ll just turn away and do the same thing to you… ignore you.
Love me or hate me you know who i am.
I’m the whisper in the wind
I’m the shadow on the ground
I’m the tiny waves rolling into shore
I’m the girl that up untill now you didn’t realize was the girl you love!
